“I know that I know nothing“ ~Plato
I’m not the queen of self-care. I’m not a self-appointed guru of mindfulness, self-love, and emotional health. But, I do try to be. You see, I’ve been on a journey. A long, dumb, intoxicating journey that, at this point, has landed me somewhere between whatever is going on and whatever is supposed to be going on.
The thing is, on any given day, I will stand by the idea that I treat myself like gold. Even on the days when I don’t. What I mean by that is, it’s either a meditate, work out, and eat carrots kinda self-care day or it’s a never leave my bed, binge an entire season of Criminal Minds, and gorge myself on pretzels kinda self-care day. Both count. Both are necessary. Both get me to my next day.
Self-care isn’t about “doing it right”. It’s about doing right by you.
You should meditate. You should workout. You should eat like you care. You should clean your room. You should go to therapy. You should maintain financial awareness. You should journal. You should do what makes you comfortable.
But, also, you should sleep. You should take a day off. You should have some ice cream. You should throw your socks on the floor and worry about them tomorrow. You should skip therapy- wait, no. Don’t do that. Always go to that. You should treat yourself. You should try new things. And you should definitely force yourself out of your comfort zone.
The thing is, there is no self-care law. The system is self designed and ever changing.
So, why do I want to blog about my experience with self-care? Because I’ve stopped ignoring myself. For a few years now, I’ve let myself have a voice. I’ve listened to that voice, and, in doing so, I’ve found myself nearly four years into a transformation that required all of the worst days just as much as it did the good ones.
I don’t entirely remember what I expected when I began advocating for myself. I think I thought a few changes here and there would make life more comfortable and would make me feel proud of myself. What ended up happening was I opened doors to opportunities that I never knew I could have. I used to think of it as a bravery thing. That I had entered a time in my life where I was brave enough and strong enough to make better choices for myself and stick to them even if it meant giving up being the people-pleaser that I was raised to be. I was wrong about that though. It wasn’t about strength. It wasn’t about bravery. It was simply about self-respect. I was developing an ever-growing respectful relationship with myself. So, I was finally allowing myself to make healthy and mindful decisions regarding my relationships with other people including, but not limited to, the nearly seven year relationship I held with a man who was somewhat of a High School sweetheart.
The demise of that relationship is not where my self-care journey got its start but it was certainly quite the landmark and still is. And that’s fine. Closure is a myth (I’ll talk about that later, though). I couldn’t have walked away from that time in my life if I hadn’t already been well on my way into such changes.
My point is, you will have no idea what you are capable of until you break down the next wall.
Let’s break some walls.